Saturday, 24 September 2011


I have personally seen many reanimated corpses walking around wearing thick coats, diving suits, medieval armour, (i even saw one in a chicken suit) ect. Obviously people have some misconceptions about zombies. I will dispell some of these as best i can.

Max Brooks (in "The Zombie Survival Guide") explains why it is a bad idea to wear armour when attempting to escape zombies. The only advantage humans have over the walking dead is speed. Zombies do not tire, and do not stop. Just because you can outrun them doesn't mean that you have escaped. They can and will walk for days in one direction, and will steadily gain on your position. Whilst you sleep, they will still be moving. It is therefore imperative that you DO NOTHING THAT NARROWS THE GAP OF SPEED between yourself and the undead! Roads are all too blocked to drive, and petrol driven engines generate too much noise (ruling out motorbikes). Moving by foot seems to be the only option left, and you need to be able to do that as fast and as energy-conservative as possible.

Many people seem to have got all their information about the undead from movies.Contrary to popular opinion, zombies cannot rip you apart like a christmas present. They are not strong enough. People do not often get devoured, as this is incredibly slow (although all that get bit inevitably die and reanimate later) and most can simply walk away from the danger.

The critical risk of dealing with zombies is death by asphyxiation. In surging crouds of humans (such as big day out 2001), people sometimes die this way. With an undead horde converging upon you, this risk is maximised by the fact that without painthresholds or mortality from any injury that isnt cranial, zombies can push indefinetly in any direction they perceive human meat to be in. They don't need a functioning ribcage to operate, and will crush themselves in an onslaught of moving decomposing flesh. This compressing force is mainly what kills people. Armour is completely useless, as the forces they can generate will constrict the breastplates of metal amour. I have seen barricades smashed and cars crushed like soft drink cans in this manner. Just because you boarded up your doors and windows doesn't mean they won't come in when they amass. The only way to be safe is to be distant. As aforementioned, get onto rooves or high vantage points!

If you feel you must, you can wear wrist guards to avoid your arms being bitten, but otherwise understand that death by biting is not the threat you need to be afraid of!

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