Saturday 13 August 2011

Preparing your Fortress

An abandoned mine shaft in Japan
(refer to p. 65 of Brooks "The Zombie Survival Guide; Complete Protection From The Living Dead" Crown Archetype)
Being Queenslanders, we are at a distinct advantage in the zombie holocaust. Unpredictable increment weather led to colonial architects designing "the Queenslander", which purpose was to allow airflow below the structure, and keep it from being inundated in time of floods. It is not water, but undead human floods that threaten us now. If you can get into one of these buildings, make it your permanent residence. Destroy the stairs immediately and use a rope to climb into your domicile. Zombies cannot climb, as they lack sufficient motor skills. If you cannot climb a rope, odds are quite good you will not survive this revolution, so learn. Do not get complacent. Such a residence is not a guarrantee of safety, because whilst the undead cannot climb, they can amass in large enough numbers that they will pile up and simply stumble onto your veranda. Stay as silent as possible, put mattresses on windows so no noise or light escapes. Next you must destroy a part of the roof over the central part of the domicile so that in the case of pregnation, you can retreat into the centre of your home, and exit through the ceiling. Rememember, resale considerations for buildings these-a-days are no longer applicable!

Apartment buildings/offices offer similar advantages but tend be in densely populated areas, so avoid if you have the option. Remember it is critical to DESTROY THE STAIRS! If neither is available to you, then erect tents on any roof you can find. This of course can only provide a temporary shelter, so avoid unless presented no other option. Heat stroke is a real threat in such a situation.

In times of peace undesirable elements of society were sent to correctional centres to seperate them from the rest of humanity. If you can move, my suggestion would be to go to a prison. Whilst they are designed to prevent insiders from breaking out, the reverse would also apply. JUST BE SURE THAT THE ORIGINAL INHABITANTS HAVE LEFT! Most prisons were thrown open by anarchic opportunuists in the first few days of the apocalypse, so an empty one shouldnt be too hard to find. If you find one that has inhabitants, do NOT believe them if they say they were guards or free citizens! Such a risk is too high to take.

There are advantages and disadvantages in residing in boats. Whilst zombies cannot swim, they do not breathe either, therfore nothing stops them from walking underneath the Brisbane river. The current would sweep the undead away, but it would also sweep other zombies in from upstream. You must guard the anchor as they may (i have heard no documented cases) be able to climb an anchor line. Petrol goes "stale" within anywhere between 6 weeks and 1 year, so treat this as a temporary solution only. Also reanimated corpses bloat with CO2, H2SO4, and methane, which make them buoyant. One could drift into your craft while you sleep or are not aware so patrol your hull 24 hours a day, preferably on a roster with other survivors if this option is available to you.

I will update this post as more information (and other survivors anecdotes) become available to me.

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